Well it's been a while since I left a message. I actually feel good this week, although last Thursday in a used book store I passed by a section for sex, healthy sex human sexuality and sex advice type of books... I know I didn't pass by it on purpose!!! THAT MUCH I KNOW... problem was I was looking for a food book... literally next to the sex aisle. After jittering for a while knowing what was right there... like an idiot I broke over a week and a half's worth of sobriety and picked up a book. It was a collection of mini stories in cartoon format. and I just had to read and look... I'm just so hurt... I'm not even angry at myself anymore. I'm just hurt... this feeling inside trying to burst out of me is so tiring to push back. I want to act out to the point where I think I NEED to act out. Plus it really doesn't help that everyone is wearing a LOT less clothes being the beginning of a warmer period. I try and read holy scriptures every day and keep myself in line... but it's so hard with these feelings ALWAYS hovering over me... or inside of me....
sanh
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I can so relate to that frustration. Being married to a recovering porn addict (he's under the GreatnessAhead program), I have my fair share of disappointments and failures. But what is truly important is the fact that you're trying. Cheer up, tomorrow is another day.
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