Trust!

Trust is not an easy thing to give or receive. I went to a meeting that once sparked a very short and meaningless relationship that turned into a sexual affair of one night. Well that same one night stand broke the trust with my best friend. The only person who believed in me, the one that helped me confront my family in times of hard ship and the one who got me to realize and admit to my addiction, is the one person who has no trust in me.

That's right I threw it all away, out of anger! And I had been sober for quite a while. I don't even know what I was angry about. Well tonight I went back to this meeting I used to attend weekly. After the incident with this individual I stopped going to the meetings, that was back in November. So tonight I thought I'd go back and get back in the swing of things. So the individual was there and nothing happened. I'm glad to say NOTHING happened, I didn't even talk to the person.

When I got home where I live with my best friend... I had to divulge the whole evening. I said how it went. My friend didn't believe me and I simply said that this was all that had happened. The point is because my friend has no trust in me I need to somehow sit there and make sure I rebuild the trust. Well I know I'm not lying but there's nothing I can do to change any ones mind... I'm afraid I'm dumbfounded by the whole issue... this sucks... a lot.

sanh